Everyone’s a critic when it comes to online restaurant reviews. Which can lead to some hilarious bloopers

When researching potential places to eat and drink during my long, intensive road-food trips, I spend considerable time reading online reviews from TripAdvisor, Yelp, Zomato (nee Urbanspoon) and their ilk.

Occasionally, I run across some unintended zingers, often the result of a fortuitous spelling mistake, no doubt committed while typing with thick thumbs on a smartphone with a mind of its own. So here, for your consuming pleasure, are some of my favourite online reviews. The sources shall remain anonymous, to protect the guilty. Comments in italics are mine.

The coffee here is excellent, which is likely the most important thing about a coffee shop (lol)… for me personally, I’m not a coffee drinker.

I only had iced tea (preceding a six-paragraph, five-star review).

Full disclosure (after a lengthy review): I did not eat here.

The hours are kind of strange, as they close before a person under 60 would even consider eating dinner….I wish this place were a Filiberto’s style late-night place, but alas, I’ll be forced to eat here sober.

I don’t feel right writing about a bakery because I rarely eat bread and don’t have much of a sweet tooth (in the midst of a five-paragraph review). Continue reading →